cruisingasphalt

Cross border shoppin'

Tue, 16 May 2006 22:46:38 GMT

It's been almost 2 weeks since I took a road trip to Pittsburgh. I went to go and pick up some equipment from a friend. First, I got news from him that he wouldn't be home, but he hid a key under his grill. I left just after 9pm on Thursday May 4th. I got to his place a few minutes after 2am, but I spent about 4 minutes looking for his place on the street. I remembered what it looked like, but couldn't find his place. So I went by address and found it. I knew he had a silver BMW with a soft top. I saw a blue one across the street and no other Bimmer around. So I went to it and reached under to look for the key under the grill. Eventually I had to look right under to see hwo to get at the key but it was nothing but steel. No access to the grill area at all. I was too tired to figure out he meant the BBQ grill on his porch. I regreted having him email me the location of the key versus telling me on the phone. So I slept in my car.

A long time ago (60s) my dad visited a friend in Pittsburgh. His friend used to worry if he knew my dad was on his way and was stressed until he arrived. My dad came up with the idea of keeping a key and not notifying his friend when he would be visiting and just show up and let himself in if his friend wasn't home. One tie he decided to drive there after work. He probably got there around midnight. He let himself in and slept on the couch. The next morning, a policeman roused him from his slumber. His friend didn't tell him he moved out and so this family walked into the living room to find a man they didn't know sleeping on their couch.

So, it would have been nice to have found the key and crashed on the couch, recreating history. But I slept OK in the back seat of my Caddie. Before settling in, I used an empty water bottle. I took off my shoes, loosened my pants and reclined the seat as far back as it went. But it didn't take long to realize it wouldn't be as comfortable as laying down in the back seat, so I crawled back and took a snooze. I probably woke up every half hour to turn over and get some circulation. I probably had seatbelt latch marks on my lower back.

At around 8:30am I woke up and drank some water and used another empty water bottle. I decided not to call my friend and let him sleep. So I went to FedEx to pick up the last item which couldn't be delivered since my friend had to leave town. The lady at FedEx immediately told me I wasn't the person who was on the computer. My cousin had put my friend as the billing AND delivery address. Luckily I knew this and called FedEx and added my name. I told her to check because "my friend" had added my name so I could pick it up for him. She scrolled through a few screens and found my name on the last page. Bingo.

Headed back to my friend's place and called him. Found the key, let myself in and grabbed the other stuff. I managed to pack the computer, monitor and 2 rims in the trunk and the other two rims in the cabin. I was all packed and ready to head home by about 10:15am. But I needed to find an internet place to print out the invoices. Stupidly, I thought there would be paper invoices with the shipped goods. After 6 bucks in parking and 5 bucks on internet and printing, I was back on the road home.

The border was a sinch. I declared everything and got taxed on just the products, not on shipping or tax incurred. And the dollar was at an all time high so I didn't pay as much tax as I expected. Overall I saved about 2 grand after gas. I highly recommend Lewiston as the bridge to cross. I waited 5 minutes going into the states and about 3 minutes on the way back (not including the stop to go in and pay which took another 25 minutes). And when you cross the border, you're only an hour away from home.

Overall, I loved the experience. To Pittsburgh and back in 20 hours was trippy. It was interesting leaving late and arriving later. I can see myself going to Montreal after work Friday nights and staying at my cousin's place. FUN!

Oh, and the computer (Macintosh Quad) is AWESOME!!!

Gas guzzler

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 08:14:45 GMT

$520 Canadian in gas. Not bad for a 6500 km trip in a 5.7 liter car. I thought it would be more so I'm happy! Sweet as hell that it takes regular gas!

On a side note, turns out I don't know how to spell Asphalt. Damn!!! Might bite the bullet and change the name but I think I have to get a paid account. Might not be such a bad idea if I can customize the journal on top of that. =o)

Home bound

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 14:25:06 GMT

I left Pittsburgh and the Radio was full of parade information and speculation of depression because they'd be without football for a while.

I was at the border within 3+ hours. It seemed strange that I only had a little over an hour after that to get home. I had to drive to Lewiston to export my vehicle. I stopped on the US side to settle the export. The guy asked when I had faxed the Title and I told him Thursday. He asked it that was the 2nd and I said I thought so. I checked and verified that it was. He pulled out a folder and looked through about 50 faxes. As he kept getting closer to the end, a few drops of sweat appeared on my temples. Third last page, nope, second last page, nope, 5 more drops of sweat and the last page, nope! My heart was beating and looked for the fax to prove I sent it on the second, thinking he'd give me a hard time like the guy who was there before me. But then he said "Maybe I should try getting the folder with the RIGHT DATE!" Halfway through he found it and keyed it in on the computer. He had my Title stamped with a machine which made a seal impression. He had me pull the vehicle up and checked the VIN. Then handed me the Title and a paper and I was on my way to Canada Customs. The guy at Customs asked the reason I was in the States and I told him I bought a car as I slapped the side of the car outside the window. Told him how much I paid and the value of goods I bought on top of that. He filled out a yellow form and had me stop off on the side to pay my taxes and duty.

Even though I had a fake Bill of Sale for a fraction of what I paid, I decided to pay on the full amount I paid. I'm too honest and hate to cheat or steal. Doing the right thing always feels better. I paid the tax and $209 fee. They didn't ask to see the form I paid $25 bucks for from GM Canada that RIV said I needed. I may need it for when I clear the vehicle later, but they said I needed to show it at the border. Ahh well. I'm only 6 months shy of not having to get the car saftey'd with daylight running lights. Ahh well, thems the breaks. It will be nice to have even though I habitually turn them on all the time. Even so, there have been times I've driven with them off for whatever reason.

When I paid my bridge toll after all that was done, I got my change and the guy, when he noticed the car, asked with his eyes bugging out "Hey, what year is your car!?" This was almost verbatim what the guy said at the very beginning of my trip. I talked to him about the car and mentioned I had just bought it. We talked long enough that I stuck the car in park and turned off the ignition. He said he loves "boats" referring to big cars. I told him I was raised on Buicks and Caddies and loved them too. He said he was raised on Grand Marquis.

I called my mom to tell her everything at the border was fine and that I could pick her up on the way home. She loved the car, as did the girl at the office. My mom couldn't get over the GPS as I had it direct us home. I took my own route and the GPS accepted my moves. Surprisingly, it took the directions I normally take right before my place instead of what I thought it would take. I went to wash the car at a self-serve car wash and when I finally got home, the Reading on the odometer in kilometers was 72832. My year of birth, the lucky number 8, followed by my dad's year of birth. Sweet. Just over 4000 Mi or just under 6500 Km. It was a great road trip. I can't wait for the next one!!! I want to thank Mark for being a great travelling companion. He helped make the trip awesome.

Steeler sandwich

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 14:15:22 GMT

I had only eaten at one other restaurant from my Roadfood which was Kaelin's for the cheeseburger. Fred and Joey took me to Primanti Brothers for a lunch sandwich. Fred and I were so hungry we got a small bowl of chili as well. I had a Dr. Pepper since I didn't have one in Memphis (Elvis Presley's favourite pop). I got the Cheese steak. All their sandwiches come topped with Coleslaw and french fries in the sandwich. Fred and I added hot sauce from the bottle on the table. It was a hefty sandwich.

We heard one girl at the counter ask for her sandwich to be cut in half because the chef forgot. The guy who brought us our chili gunned back in a tenth of a second "Why? Your mouth's big enough!" That's Pittsburgh. There's a rudeness there that's charming, funny and totally worthwhile. The wit in this blue collar college town was top notch. I wasn't on the receiving end of any wit. I did get kudos for finishing all my chili and sandwich though. "Good job sweetheart," from the lady who chucked our wax paper and Styrofoam bowls. Joey treated us to the sandwiches which was damn nice of him. He's an awesome guy! He bought Panchetta which I had never had before. It's like smoked bacon in a round shape cut like a coldcut. Quite tasty actually. Helps that it's 75% fat!!!

There were tons of souvenirs being sold in the streets and in stores. It seemed like everyone was wearing Black and Gold. After doing a bit of shopping and looking around, we headed back to Fred's. He went to work out with Joey and I started typing my adventures with back to back "America's Top Model" playing on the TV in the background. My favourite girl from that season was Kahlen, but she was much nicer than the Kaelin's cheeseburger I had in Kentucky. Later that evening Fred and Joey cooked up a storm and we watched the sequel to Zorro. Once again, an awesome meal. I introduced them to Yellow Tail Shiraz and they liked it. They are real wine drinkers and go to lots of wine evnts, so it made me feel good that it met with their approval. I fell in and out of sleep while we watched the movie. I think the whole trip finally caught up with me.

Touchdown

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 14:08:11 GMT

What a way to end my road trip. Watching the XL Superbowl in Pittsburgh!!! And then they won!!! We went for a walk in the morning and I bought a case of Red Stripe for the party. Fred allowed an acquaintance to smoke cigars. Little did he know that the guy was going to chain-smoke those cigars while his girlfriend smoked cigarettes and an occasional cigar too. Joey, one of Fred's friends I hadn't seen in about 14 years, made some chili with "loose sausage" meat. It was very very good!!! I hate a bowl after pigging out on nachos and eating a ton of Swiss Fondue which I made for Fred. It wasn't very thick which is how I like it, but Fred mentioned afterwards that he would have preferred it thicker. I find you end up with too much cheese on the bred when it's thick. Ahh well, I'll make it thicker next time.

Maybe it was made worse by eating too much, but the Cigar smoke was making me green. Fred's girlfriend was not happy about Fred letting the guy smoke cigars to begin with. Made me think of George Carlin's Cigar bit. "Haven't we had about enough of this cigar smoking shit in this country? When is this going to end? When is this shit going to go away? When are these fat, arrogant, overpaid, overfed, over privileged, overindulged white collar business criminal asshole cocksuckers gonna put out their cigars and move on to their next abomination? White pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick! That's all it is, that's all it ever was, a big brown dick. Sigmund Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Oh yeah, well, sometimes it's a big brown dick! With a fat, arrogant, white collar business criminal asshole sucking on the wet end of it. But, hey, the news is not all bad for me, you want to know the good part? Cancer of the mouth! Good, fuck 'em, it makes me happy, it's an attractive disease, goes great with a CELL PHONE! So, light up, suspender man, and suck that smoke deep into your empty suit and blow it out your ass, you big cocksucker!"

We went out to a bar after the game to celebrate. There weren't as many people at the bar as Fred expected, likely because everyone headed downtown. There were still a lot of people. I got some good video of people celebrating in the street. This small group of guys rapped and did a little celebration dance/performance. It was nice to get away from the Cigar smoke at Fred's. I made sure the windows were open when we all left so it would be aired out by the time we got back. They had smoking in the bar, but it was much easier to take.

The long haul

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 14:03:07 GMT

I got to Graceland at 8:45am but it didn't open till 10am. I grabbed a few souvenirs from the place across the street, took a few pics by the sign and the Graceland mansion and took off. The tour, if I started at 10, would mean I wouldn't leave till 11am give or take. And I wanted to get to Pittsburgh by a reasonable hour. Leaving at 9:30am I was due to arrive by 10:56pm. In the end, I only hit a few flurries. I played WKRP in Cincinnati when I hit Cincinnati on the CD player but otherwise listening to my Road trip Mix with my new Belkin iTrip-type device.

With the two stops for gas and washroom at 10 minutes each and a half hour at Kaelin's where the Cheeseburger was invented for some grub, I was due to arrive at 11:19pm according to the GPS. The cheeseburger at Kaelin's was damn good considering I don't much care for processed cheese. A big group of people sitting next to me were egging on this one girl to try it. TRY IT! I looked over as she ate what looked like a deep fried chicken wing. But then one of the guys said "tastes like chicken." My guess of deep fried frog legs was confirmed when one of the women said "Just don't think of Kermit!"

I must not have accommodated for a time zone on the GPS because in the end I got there 10ish but by the time I found parking to meet my Buddy Fred and his girlfriend at this place called Dish it was about 10:45. I had driven for 12-13 hours with barely a break but I was high on adrenaline. We went to another place afterwards and then drove back to Fred's place.

South to South

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 13:59:30 GMT

It's hard to believe we had done so much in 7 days. We had left only 5 days prior and I had arrived in California and bought a car just a week before. It's crazy! I'm glad I still have the energy to drive such long distances and racking up miles doesn't bother me. I can drive all day, day after day, for a week and probably more and I'm alright. If I did less driving per day that we did and spent more time in each place or made more stops, I could probably go on for months!!!

Mark got a call regarding a family emergency and had to fly back. We spend the morning figuring out his ticket and figuring out where we could eat some good steak. I like my steak medium-rare but if I'm ever in Texas again, I might get it medium. Their medium-rare is closer to rare and while I like rare steaks too, the Mesquite wood didn't seep in as much s it would have had it been closer to my medium-rare. After treating Linda and Jet to lunch, I took Mark to the Airport to catch his flight.

I was on the road to Memphis around 3:40pm. I hit Dallas rush-hour traffic and it took 36 minutes to get out of the city. I didn't mind. It's not like I was in any rush. I listened to "The Word" Christian Talk Radio which was really interesting. I'm not very religious, but if anything, listening to this Christian Talk Radio made me less religious. There was an amusing "Bible Moment" about Fleeing temptation with regards to sex, explaining that if you take your girlfriend to a remote area in your car, you're not fleeing sex, you're inviting it. The rest of the talk was taking listeners concerns. It was about as right wing and pro-America as you can get.
There was one caller who wanted to make sure everyone understood that a gay lifestyle is wrong. Another caller said he wanted more Christians in the Supreme court to make sure the country doesn't change against Christian beliefs. The host did point out that all appointed members of the supreme court swear to uphold the constitution, not their religious beliefs. The caller didn't agree saying that he wanted his Christian values represented. Things continued but the caller, who came off as a real simpleton, expressed that he was confused and didn't understand the difference, but that said, still adamant about his position. There was a short segment about how to deal with pornography and keep it at bay, but I was in heavy traffic and missed a lot of it. I finally lost reception but if you want to check out a broadcast, it's pretty interesting stuff. It's crazy how right-wing and blatant the station is with its opinions. I thought Howard Stern spoke his mind!!!

I made it to Memphis and a warm bed. I had a nice view of the river and a Pyramid building. The guy who checked me in had what looked like the back end of a cigar sticking out of his mouth about an inch. When he spoke, I realized that the majority of the cigar was in his mouth. He spoke normally. I don't think he was planning on smoking it but rather sucking on the cigar for flavour. Kind of like chewing tabacco but a cigar instead. Which I got a picture. Ahh well.

Ranching Cadillacs

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:49:21 GMT

In the morning, I took advantage of the free long distance faxing and sent US Customs a copy of the Title for export. Wen that was done, we made our way To Amarillo. Around lunchtime we hit the border and decided to have Blake’s Lotaburger again. It was awesome and even better this time. I preferred the Cherry Shake over the Black Raspberry but I got green chili on the burger which was awesome.

We watched the landscape change to rolling meadows and finally pretty flat, which was very different to what we had experienced from San Francisco to Albuquerque. And for the record, we turned Left at Albuquerque. It was that morning that I decided the Road Runner name for my new car would stand. I felt I needed something more to garner a name, and the Looney Tunes reference in Albuquerque was enough to solidify it. So, she’s named Road Runner, aka Albuquerque Queen. My Buddy Steve’s car is named “Mississippi Queen” likely because of the road trip it took through the States. So there ya have it.

Cadillac ranch was awesome. It was everything I had expected. I wish I was able to drive the car in but it was OK. I still got a good shot of my car with the caddies in the background. We took tons of pics of us posing in front of each car. They all came out pretty good! After about an hour there, we hit the road towards Dallas to stay with my Friend Linda and her Husband Jet. Linda is Cathy’s sister and in Pittsburgh we planned on staying with Freddie, their brother. And Eddie would be in Toronto, so we’d be seeing the whole family from Start to finish.

We finally got into Dallas around 10pm and ordered Pizza. Jet had to try 3 places before finding one that was still open and delivering. 10pm!? Apparently people in Texas don’t eat too late. The pizza was really good but salty. The Clazone was also really good. I’m surprised I lost weight with all the junk I ate on this trip!

Groundhog day at the Grand Canyon

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:44:44 GMT

So we were on our way to Grand Canyon by 5:30 in the morning. I filled up with gas and the person at the pump before me filled up with $3.27 worth of gas. Hi Bub! We made it there for sunrise which was good and bad. It was very cold, but very beautiful. When we first arrived we used the MSG (Mark’s initials) system instead of the GPS system. We turned down this one road but decided to turn around and take another pass. So I pulled over to this wider parking area and BAM! GRAND CANYON was RIGHT THERE! I couldn’t help but swear. “Oh fuck man!” As much as I’ve seen pictures and movies, nothing could have prepared me for how truly awesome the Grand Canyon really was. We were blown away and just satthere in the car awed and swearing. Mark was laughing because of my non-stop cursing. He kept saying “I know! I know!” when I was describing how fucking amazing it was. We finally got out of the car and I took a few pics. Then we went to where we decided to hike. Parked the car and I spent some time looking for my hat.

We started to head down ahead of a group of mules and tourists. There was some snow on the South where we hiked because of the lack of sun. We hiked down and stopped to take pictures and talk to people. We made it down to the first washroom pitstop and decided to head back up. It’s probably a 6+ hour hike to the floor of the Grand Canyon. One enderly gentleman with ski poles and a big backpack was on his way down and told us he had gone all the way down and back up again in one day 30 years prior. He said it took 2 days to recover from the hike. Mark and I tired ourselves pretty well with our almost 3 hour hike. Mark and I read this one warning about trying to hike it in one day and used a Marathon Runner as an example of someone who was fit yet died trying to hike the Grand Canyon in one day. She had 1.5 litres of water, an apple and a few snacks. Her friend made it out alive and she might have too but they made the mistake of separating themselves. Getting lost in the Grand Canyon would be pretty scary. I hope to hike all the way down one day and camp at the floor by the river.

Mark and I then got on the road and hit a few last spots to take in the scenery. By now it was less cold, but we still needed sweaters. On our last stop, probably the most beautiful, we just sat there for a little while to take it all in. It’s truly a remarkable sight. We took a few more pictures with the tripod and small group of Koreans laughed at our poses. I invited them to pose with us and then took a picture of the girl posing the way I had for one of the shots I took of Mark and me.

Then it was off to Monument Valley. We stopped off at a Subway to grab lunch and were the only white people in the place. It was packed with Navajo Indians. Mark picked up a few pamphlets for Army recruitments at the Subway cash register. At the top of the pamphlet on the top it didn’t say anything to do with the Army but had a bunch of exciting army pics and the word “Money” across the top. The entire pamphlet seemed to play on the finacial benefits of joining the army. It also offered gifts just for meeting with a recruitment officer. And I know these guys are well trained to respond to every bit of reluctance. Before you know it, you’re signed up and off for training.

Once again the Topography was crazy amazing. It changed rapidly yet again from one type of landscape to something entirely different in mere moments. We stopped at the Utah sign and then continued it. We were a few hours shy of sunset which was awesome lighting for the amazing monuments and buttes. On the way in we contemplated taking the $35-40 per person tour but opted for the self guided drive instead. I wanted my Caddie to make the trip into the valley and we stop so often for pictures it seemed the best way to go. We felt a little bad because we wanted to contribute to the local economy and take the tour, but in the end, we met Gary who sold Dream Catchers and necklaces and bracelets. We each bought almost $35 worth of stuff and took a picture with Gray. Mark gave him a tip since this is customary according to our guide book. We thanked him and he replied “No, thank you! You made my day!” Business this time of year probably isn’t very good. I asked him if a lot of people had been by since 7am when he started, and he said no, not really. At one point I took a path I thought would lead us along the self-guided tour but it got really narrrow, so I backed up while Mark checked out the rest of the path and sure enough we had made a wrong turn. The sun finally set and we made out way out again. I drove very slowly and kept to their 10 MPH speed limit. My car got a nice dusting of golden orange dirt which I guess settled on it from the air.

As we got to the exit, Mark and I both paniced for a minute or two. The gates we had driven through to get into the valley were closed and locked. Then we read the slightly hidden sign. “Turn around and drive 50 yards and exit on your left. I backed up the 50 yards and turned to the right instead. We were off. In the morning we were in Arizona, then a little bit into Utah and now on our way to Albuquerque New Mexico. At one point we decided to stop for food. Mark pointed out a Pizza Hut which I guess would have been OK. But I said we’d check what they had at the strip of places up ahead and turn back if there wasn’t anything else. That’s when we discovered Blake’s Lotaburger. We both ordered the Lotaburger Combo with double meat. I got mine with a Cherry Shake and onion rings and Mark got his with a Diet Coke and Fries. We discovered it was a Burger joint with 75 locations ONLY in New Mexico. It was damn good burger. We devoured our meal and hit the road again.

We were shceduled to get to Albuquerque by 12:30am or so. It was arond then that I started getting tired. We had been on the road since 5:30 that morning with a 3 hour hike and a shitload of driving and sights. When we finally settled on a Comfort Inn, I parked the car and Mark lugged his stuff out of the trunk. 20 seconds after that a security guy came buy in his car asking if we had a club or something. I told him I had a steering wheel column device to prevent theft. He said “Good, people love these cars and they’re real easy to steal. The 35% theft rate in the South I had read about compared to 16% up in the North East made me jittery. Mark was awesome and willing to look for another place when I said I was going to sleep in the car. Luckily we got our money back for the room and spent some time looking for a nicer place. The Hilton downtown was fully booked. Or maybe it was my unshaven face. I almost booked the expensive Marriott but we decided to drive out of town towards Amarillo. On the way out we saw another Marriott and I decided we’d just stay there no matter how much it cost. Luckily there was a guy training someone so he was able to give me a Travel Agent discount, so the price was about the same as Comfort Inn in Ridgecrest.

It was 3am when I finally hit the hay. Almost 24 hours from when I got up. It was a very full day, but incredibly awesome! I slept like a rock that night.

Breakfast at Tiffany's Denny's

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:33:26 GMT

We hit the hay and were up pretty early again. I got a text message from Chantel and after we packed, we went to their apartment. Chantel met us on the road since it was way down the strip and we thought we might have missed it. We parked my car which Chantel liked, and went up to their pad. Chantel introduced us to Dana who immediately commented that Mark and I were dressed the same. Sure enough, we both wore jeans and burgundy shirts. Apparently they had matching outfits too and decided not to wear them but since we were, they changed their mind, so Dana put on the matching cowboy boots and similar brown top and jean miniskirt as Chantel. They both looked amazing in their matching outfits! I talked with Dana while she finished off her packing and Mark and Chantel hung out in the living room. We helped them take their stuff to their car and when I smiled at the pink bag I was carrying with little DDs all over it (for Dana) I had to explain my amusement. It was a pretty hot bag. After seeing all the clothes being packed and the way they were dressed I wondered if we should go to L.A. instead! I think I saw hot pants!

Chantel drove with me while Mark drove with Dana and we went to Denny’s for breakfast. After that we needed to get some stuff from Walmart. Mark needed socks. It wasn’t far but we lost Dana and Mark. After waiting outside Walmart for a bit, I got a text from Dana saying “Where the @#$%*& r u?” and I replied “Standing outside Walmart.” They finally found us and we took pictures with a carton of milk they had to chuck before going inside Walmart. Got Milk? We did. And we milked the opportunity with some pictures.

After Walmart we headed to Frys so I could buy a charger for my Canon. I accidentally called Chantel Dana which I felt pretty bad about. I don’t usually make that mistake, but I guess it happens. I got a massage from Chantel close to the CD section which was very nice. Dana looked at Mark and said “I’m not giving you a massage, they have 2 hours on us!” After buying the charger we went to take a picture in front of the Las Vegas sign. But in the parking lot leaving Frys I sped around doing big circles. They followed and Mark warned me not to continue or we’d have an accident. I wasn't worried. It was too much fun. He had taken video of her driving when they were lost and looking for Walmart. I didn’t know how she drove, but sure enough we were eventually on a head on collision course but it didn’t freak me out. I have ABS on my new wheels. =oD Anyhoo, we finally got back on the road and took some awesome shots of the Vegas sign. In the end we had a bit of a late start, but we were OK in terms of out long-term goal of getting to Albuquerque for Wednesday and eventually Pittsburgh for Sunday. The girls sent us a text when we got to the Hoover Dam. “Do you miss us yet? Thanks 4 a great day. U guys rock. Thelma and Louise” If their idea of having a great day is Denny’s, Walmart and Frys, they’re going to want to marry us when we all hang out in Toronto.

We made it to Williams as it got dark and decided to turn in early and get on the road early and do the Grand Canyon and Monument Valley the next day. We stopped in front of this Route 66 shop where we bought some shirts and Route 66 Paraphernelia. I laughed as philip rang my purchases in because I didn’t get the pricing until I saw it on the till. Everything was $9.66 or $14.66. I thought it was a tax thing, but then Route 66 hit me.

We had steaks at this place with a Neon sign of a cow called Rod's Steakhouse. I ordered my steak with Green Beans instead of a baked potato because Dana brainwashed me. Apparently eating a baked potato makes you feel bloated because the meat and potato digest at different rates, which is why the 72oz Steak-for-free is only free if you eat the salad and potatoe it comes with. But our steaks were only 14 oz. Shoulda got the potato!!!

Mark watched the Bush address which I half listened to. Before turning in, I downloaded the Triumph the Insult Dog’s Michael Jackson video because I told Mark about it on the drive. We laughed our heads off and then turned in. I had my worst sleep of the trip. I should have had the baked potato! I woke up around 2:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Usually I get up out of bed until I’m tired again and then go back to sleep when I get groggy. We got up at 5:15am to get to the Grand Canyon for sunrise, so I stayed in bed and finally fell back to sleep after an hour or so laying there. Not sleeping well meant remembering my dreams and so I’m not really complaining about the lack of sleep. I dreamt I was with Jennifer Love Hewitt and she leaned over for a kiss. By the time we finished kissing we were suddenly naked and things progressed nicely from there. I felt well rested when we took off. We got there just as the sun was rising. I bought the 1year National Park Pass so I hopefully I’ll get some good use of it.

Death and Vegas

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:15:03 GMT

We were up pretty early and off like a shot to Death Valley. It was pretty spectacular. We had driven in just a little bit and decided to stop. As soon as we got out, it was the polar opposite from the night before. Dead silence. It was eerily quiet. Mark said “Dude, listen how quiet it is.” We started laughing because it was so strange. He hiked up the side of the hill while I took pictures. He was far enough away that I couldn’t spot him, yet when I finally did and spoke to him, allI had to do was speak a little louder than normal and my voice would travel. Again we started laughing at how strange it was to be so far from each other yet being able to speak normally and hear each other. We stopped a few more times before getting to the visitor center. Mark organized some rocks in our initials which I thought was really cool. The tripod I bought before the trip paid for itself this one trip. We used it ALL THE TIME.

We bought some super expensive sandwiches at the visitor center. I also bought a strawberry shortcake popcicle which I haven’t had since I was a kid and that I don’t think they even sell anymore in Canada. The gentleman at the souvenir shop, when he asked about our travel plans, advised us not to bother registering the car since we weren’t really staying for any real length of time. I bought a year pass at the Grand Canyon which covers Death Valley, so I paid after the fact anyway. The guy in the shop told us we ought to check out the “Mosaic” hike and so driving very slowly so as not to kick up too many rocks, we made our way up the 2 mile driveway and then hiked for a couple of hours.

Mark was in T-shirt and shorts and I was in jeans and T-shirt. He bought a “Hike or Die” Death Valley Long sleeved T-shirt. One of the nicest parts was when we decided to head back down, we started whistleing in unison. First it was that tune they whistle in “The Breakfast Club.” Then the Canadian National anthem. Then theme songs from the 80s which we were now quite familiar with. The whole time we whistled, we just did it, with no talking, just going from tune to tune. It was a really nice experience I’ll always remember. We’d chuckle every once in a while but otherwise, we were just a couple of whislting fools.

Called Shayna to make plans and see what her schedule was like, and also got in touch with Chantel and her cousin Dana to see what they were up to. In the end, we arranged dinner and sighseeing with Shayna, and breakfast and shopping the next day with Chantel and Dana (aka Thelma and Lousie) .

The Comfort Inn was perfect in that I was able to park right outside our room and go back and forth if I needed something from the car. We were living out of the trunk for the most part so it was very convenient. After settling in our room at the Comfort Inn we drove to meet Shayna. She was waiting for us on the steps to her place. We were looking for the numbers on the duplexes and spent a few minutes looking around, but we finally found her! It’s always really cool to meet people you know from Toronto in another city far from home. I think she liked my car, and she guided us past some UNLV spots. I parked at the hotel and we walked across the street to the Hard Rock. We ate at the PinkTaco restaurant. My watermelon marinated ribs were AWESOME! Mark and I shared a bucket of beer, which was a bucket of ice with any 5 beers. I liked the ones I had very much. Way better than Corona!

After dinner, I was STUFFED! But we walked it off, cabbing it to the strip and walking to a whole whack of hotels. I didn’t take as many pictures as I should have. I was awed by the change of Las Vegas since I was last there 14 years prior. The only hotels which hadn’t changed were the Mirage and Excalibur. Caesar’s and Flamingo both got bigger as far as I could tell. Fmailngo and the Imperial Palace might not have changed actually, but even so, the landscape was completely different. Shayna was an awesome guide and pointed out lots of cool things. She showed us the amazing cielings in the Venitian, the store where Michael Jackson shopped in the Bashir doc/interview. I was going to buy the Guillermo Forchino “Le Taxi” which was $265 in San Francisco and only $165 in Vegas. I was really close to laying my money down to buy it, but in the end I decided to think about it and buy it after considering it a bit more.

After tons of awe and laughing, we made our way back home and I drove Shayna back to her place. Then Mark and I hit the hard Rock to do some gambling. I wasn’t planning on gambling, but Mark decided to try his hand at Roulette, a game I always wanted to play. For some strange reason, I feel uncomfortable gambling and intimidated sitting down to gamble. It’s as though it’s not my place and I don’t belong. After Mark lost $50 and asked for $50 more chips, I thought I’d gamble a bit. I got $20 in chips and lost them pretty quickly, like Mark’s first $50. We had to put at least $5 of dollar chips down at a time. I decided to get another $20 which meant $20 in playing chips and $30 in money chips since all I had was a Fifty. I hit big with a chip on 32 and a corner on 28. That meant 43 chips slip over to me. I gave our lovely ball roller the 3 chips off the top as a tip. I gave it to her before she paid everyone off so I had to take them back. Mark told her she should throw me out or why she was so easy on me or something like that. She replied that she was being nice because she knew the chips were for her. I was up now but I didn’t know by how much. I started counting my chips like a loser and our lovely ball roller told me it’s bad luck to count my chips. I’m sure she’s trained to say that so we don’t know how much we win or lose. I took my “break even” chips and set them aside and gambled the rest. I cashed out when I lost the rest and watched Mark coninute to gamble. He was actually doing OK and in the end he was up about $100. He played one last big hand on Even, which is where he made all his money when the dealers changed. I think they might have changed ball rollers to cool the table, and we left when Iour lovely ball roller’s shift was over. Mark was having lots of fun with our lovely ball roller and she was enjoying our company, but at the same time, she kept some attitude and gave us a hard time for kicks. I loved when mark would win on Even and he’d leave the chips there and say “Notice I’m not moving my chips? How do you like that?!” And he’d win again. We spent a lot of time gambling which was cool. We almost lost our money pretty quickly, but in the end it was a lot of time spent having fun. I broke even and Mark won, but the experience was great!

California Dreamin' Drivin'!

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 06:03:25 GMT

I woke up pretty early, right before my alarm. Cathy said she would walk me to the parking lot, but I knew how to get there and I could hoof it alone much more quickly and get an earlier start with Mark. We had a long day ahead of us. I got to the car well before the 8am deadline. My car clock read 8:32 (daylight savings wasn’t adjusted I guess) which meant 7:32, my dad’s birthday. Hey Bub! I stopped at the grocery store and bought muffins for breakfast. We were off on the road after a fill up with gas and when we hit the California coast, we stopped and took our first on the road shot. I realized too late we never went to see the manuscript On the Road. I’ll have to go see it in Chicago, maybe before my Route 66 road trip. The roads along the coast were awesome. Very windy around Big Sur, which was breathtaking. It was a lot like a roller coaster some of the time, so I really had to keep my eyes on the road. The music we played was a CD I had with old TV show theme songs. We got stumped on “Who’s the Boss” and “Siskel and Ebert”, songs we knew we knew but couldn’t figure out. Mark finally got them both and with a little help and more thinking, I got them too. It was good that we didn’t have the CD sleeve because we might have given up. But we got it in time.

We had amazing weather and it was the one part of the trip I wish I could look at the view more than driving. We needed to get to Hearst Castle in San Simeon by 3:20pm before the last tour. I wish I had ordered tickets online, because tour 1, recommended for first timers, was sold out. That said, our tour was awesome. We saw the newer and older guest houses which blew me away. I took mostly pictures of the ceilings which were all different and amazing. The indoor and outdoors pools were what I most wanted to see, and that was included on all the tours, so I was happy. We spoke a bit to a group of 4 girls learning English in Santa Barbara for a bit on the bus, but I think they were either shy or simply no fun.

After the tour, Mark and I drove back to the area where we saw Sea Lions or Sea Elephants or Sea somethings. It was sunset and we just missed the actual setting of the sun, but we had enough light to see the Sea Lions lounge around. After that, it was time to get on the road and try to make it to Ridgecrest so we’d be able to drive though Death Valley and make it to Vegas at a reasonable hour. This may have been a mistake...

After it got dark, we ended up hitting this area which made the windy roads on the coast seem like prairie roads. In about 3 minutes I had 5 or 6 cars on my ass, no doubt people who knew the twists and turns off by heart. I just kept my cool and took the turns at 20 or 25 miles per hour and dipping slower when it got crazy. I finally managed to pull over in this one area safely. There were a few other places on the other side of the road, but they were so tight on my ass, I predicted a pileup if I braked to take one of those areas.

They wizzed by when I pulled over, and after that, we decided to pull over at another spot just to check things out. When we got out of the car, we heard (but couldn’t see) a river probably a few feet away. It must have been super rapids because we had to shout to hear each other. That was fine, because when we looked up at the sky and saw zillions of stars, we freaked out. It was too amazing. I’ve never seen so many stars in the sky. Zero light polution and obviously super clear skys made for incredible visibility. After a few pictures and awe at the stars, we got back in the car and continued to Ridgecrest. Mark was amazing thoughout the trip, never dying of hunger and needing to stop for food or a washroom break. BY the time we got checked in at the Comfort Inn we were pretty damn hungry. The Chili’s we had earlier in Santa Cruz (or was it Montery, I think it was Montery) tided us over pretty well. We ate at Carl’s Jr. which was very tasty. I had the chili burger and it was fatty good! It was a long first day with lots of driving, so I slept like a rock.

A day in Rice-A-Roni town!

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 05:54:09 GMT

I woke up at 5:30am Saturday morning or 8:30am Toronto time. I think I was still on Toronto time. That’s when I wrote my novel about the first day of my trip. Then slept another hour and Cathy took us on a tour of the city before meeting my cousin at the Fisherman’s Wharf area. I wanted to have the Boudin’s Clam Chowder in a bread bowl that they apprent;y made famous. First we went to Lombard Street. When I turned onto it there was a Trolly which stopped to take a look at it. I stopped my car, looked at the passengers and waved. Then I just smiled and posed with thumbs up and a look-at-my-car smile. I stopped halfway down, ran out and took a picture of the car then back when I saw other cars were coming. It was kinda misty and later it would rain for most of the day, but not so hard you couldn’t walk around without an umbrella. We drove everywhere! I took lots of pictures of the car in a bunch of places.

I met my cousin Laila for the first time. She drove to San Francisco from Cupertino where she has lived since 1992 (The year of my car) working for Apple Computer. She was as nice as I had imagined and she insited on treating me to lunch. One thing I know is not to go against the Egyptian customs of hospitality. I will hopefully reciprocate when she visits family in Montreal. Lunch was Clam Chowder in a bread bowl which Mark and I devoured. It was awesome! It’s tied for first place with the Triangle in Halifax. Also close to first place was the chowder I had in the evening at Mediteranian Bistro for massive chunkiness and a pleasant broth.

When we went to my car, I video’d my cousin’s reaction. It was a big “Wooooow!” and when we were driving in it afterwards, she commented “I feel like a Queen!” That was cool. It was great that she was able to join us for our tour of San Francisco.

The Golden Gate bridge was fun to drive over but the weather was crap so I didn’t get a good picture. Same goes for all the pictures really. I saw the Painted Ladies (the Too Close for Comfort houses or apparently Full House houses) and we drove to this old army barracks turned Lucasfilm buildings. Mark went around the building with my video camera looking for evidence that Lucas was in the house. He found a Star Wars book, Darth Maul cutout, a Yoda statue and Darth Vader head.

The park Cathy took us through was massive. Puts High Park in Toronto to shame with its size. We just kept driving and driving. Eventually we dropped my cousin off at her car. It was a shorter time than I had hoped to spend with her but I plan on visiting the area again.

We went back to Cathy’s place but went to park my car in a safe place first. On the way out of the garage, which was actually hard because of locked doors and elevator's that didn't stop at our floor, we discovered a group of demonstrators because Hilary Clinton was speaking closeby. This meant a reduced for parking so I was happy. Mark, who is fairly right-wing, interviewed a protestor and really challenged her. Since he’s a new writer and very well read, he realy pushed the enveloppe seeking her opinion and challenging her. Cathy heard her say “I wanted to rip the camera away from that guy” when the interview was over. Funny stuff.

That evening we went for dinner which was amazing Dungess Crab. Cathy’s Tuna was to die for as well. Overall, the food in San Francisco while expensive was amazing. Afterwards we cabbed it to the area where they have tons of Neon signs I wanted to photograph. When I took pictures in the bar we went to I got a “We don[‘t like pictures being taken in the bar sweetie” from the waitress. Translation: “I don’t want my picture taken, OK?”

I also had a chance to take a picture of this amazing strip of shops all with neon lights.

Cruisin' asphault in style!

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 03:30:14 GMT

I was packed and in bed by 2:30am and in an Airport Limo to the airport at 6:30am. I handled the lack of sleep by chatting up the driver. I learned that he works six 12 hour shifts a week. I asked him why he kills himself and his reason was that he needed the money. I thought perhaps he had just arrived in Canada but he had been here 7 years already. I was happy to hear that he was going to his native India with his wife and 4 year-old daughter for 4 weeks. The guy clearly needed a break. I gave him $40 even for the ride to the airport. I was his first customer and he was 2 hours late for his shift. My dad was a new immigrant to Canada once upon a time, and I think like him, I have a soft spot for others who come to this country and struggle to make a life for themselves so far from their native land. No doubt the $10 tip I gave him was returned in the form of good karma...

I was expecting the worst at US customs. With a one-way ticket and the same last name as a former Iraqi General, I took every precaution. A letter from my employer stating my return to work, a letter from the building manager that I own a condo, all the car stuff I had acquired etc. I wasn’t really nervous by the time I got to my customs officer. Mark, my colleague from work who decided he wanted in on my adventure, had no problem flying one way to Sacramento. The officer was more interested in chatting about his last name, Gollom, and the Lord of the Rings. My experience was no different even though I got the most intimidating officer in the place. A hard square chin and intimidating facial hair plus a razor sharp military hairstyle. “So, why are you flying to San Francisco?” I corrected him right away, saying the address I’d be staying at was in San Francisco, but I was actually flying to Sacramento to buy a car, then drive down to San Francisco to stay with a friend. “Really? What kind of car are you buying?”
“1992 Cadillac Brougham,” I said with a smile. He smiled back.
“Is that right? What kind of condition is it in?”
“Mint.”
“Wow, that’s great. If you don’t mind my asking, how much are you paying for it?” I then pointed to the declaration of goods I was leaving in the country, including the money order.
“What model is it?” I repeated it was a Brougham. “Alright, there you go sir.” I grabbed my knapsack and as I walked off he said, “I wish I was going to California to buy a Cadillac.” I turned and replied “Well you should, you only live once!” and he nodded with a look of serious consideration.

The flight to Denver was great. I sat between a consultant and Chantel from Timmins. I asked her where she was headed and she told me she was visiting her girlfriend/cousin in L.A. where she was trying to make contacts for her acting career in Toronto. When I mentioned Shania Chantel revealed that She sang at her wedding at a time when she was just getting famous. Within the first 5 minutes of sitting next to her I was giving her my number and email because she was going to be in Las Vegas with her cousin around the same time as Mark and I. So I secured dates for us before the trip barely started. We chatted the whole trip and when it came time for her to exit, I helped her by yelling “Pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me” Bugs Bunny reference) because she only had 2 minutes to catch her connecting flight. Everyone got out of her way with my panicked voice. I was like I was a modern-day Moses the way the people leaned to each side to let her by. When she was out of earshot and down to the front of the plane the consultant said, “I don’t know if you could have scored but you were definitely in the red zone.” Red zone? She texted me that she made her flight, but as we predicted, her bags didn’t make it. I was happy the 37 minutes I had to catch my flight was enough time for my bags to make the flight. Karma.

On my flight to Sacramento I was sandwiched between these two guys. I was trying to find my seatbelt buckle when Window-guy sneered under his breath, I believe in a feeble attempt at a joke, “y’ tryin’ ta feel meyup?” I just smiled and it took 4 seconds to decipher what he said and that’s what I finally came up with. idiot. I took a power nap. When Aisle-guy got up to go to the washroom, Ginger came and sat beside me and immediately engaged me in conversation. She explained that she wanted to get away from the Pittsburgh Steelers talk her colleagues were yapping about. Aisle-guy didn’t seem to mind even though she said he’d be pissed. When we arrived I looked for Ken, the guy I was buying the car from. Ginger was talking to a guy I thought fit the description but if he was talking to her he wasn’t there for me. Turns out it was him, he just happened to know her. She was asking him if he was her ride. He explained to her he was picking a guy up. Aisle-guy apparently asked him more questions and then pointed me out to him.

I’ll admit I was a bit nervous when Ken demonstrated his heavy foot in his massive FBI issued GMC. At the same time, I knew the car was in great shape. The confidence in the kind of shape it was in was demonstrated by the low-mile Hearst-Olds cars he had. They were show cars. I asked him to send me the stats on them. I was impressed with their condition. Turns out he restores cars. I found out the reason he was getting rid of the car was that he didn’t have space for it. I kind of called him out on not having space because he’s also had the car for a year. He then told me he was able to store it, but wasn’t comfortable about where he was keeping it; In the FBI seizure garage. Luckily him and a colleague are the only ones who handle the car seizures and his colleague has “A gift of the gab” so whenever the topic of the car came up they were steered away.

The condition of the car threw me for a loop. I was expecting something mint, but actually seeing it was really something. It was better than I imagined. Karma. His pictures were overexposed and came off as white. But it really had a very subtle but appealing creaminess to it. I was floored. He had it ready for me too. New oil, new transmission fluid, even a new air conditioning compressor which he shelled out for and installed when it wasn’t working up to his standards. And of course, topping off the Air conditioning. We chatted for a long time and he showed me his cars. I hung around till his wife came by so I could meet her. She really liked the Maple syrup and book of Toronto I gave them. I seriously think I convinced them to visit so I’ll be seeing them again. I asked if they would take me to a gas station and Ken was embarrassed that there was very little gas in the car.

So there I was in the gas station, filled up, locked into satellites on my GPS unit, about to pull out of the gas station in the car I technically owned for 7 minutes, when I spot this guy almost fall out of his 4x4 and start running towards me. I rolled down my window readying myself to explain I was from out of town and couldn’t help him find anything. “Hey! What year is that Cadillac!?”
“1992 Cadillac Brougham.” He looked at it from front to back, his eyes bugging out of his head.
“Wow, it’s in amazing shape” I smiled and told him it only had 40 thousand on it. “Yeah, looks like it. I have a 77 Cadillac sedan Deville in pretty good shape.” He eyed it from back to front this time. “Nowhere near as nice as this. It looks like you just bought it.”
I gave him a puzzled look. “I did just by it!” He returned my puzzled look with his own puzzled look so I explained, “I just bought it 5 to 10 minutes ago.”
“Ohhhhh,... no I mean it looks like you just bought it from a dealer. It’s like brand new!” It was kinda cool getting my first compliment and interest in the car just minutes after buying it. I wish I took a picture of the guy but I wanted to get my ass to San Francisco, so I didn’t document the early goings of the trip as much as I would have liked.

In honour of my brother Steve and his Cadillac “Mississippi Queen” I played my newly purchased Nirvana CD. The first song I listened to was “Nevermind.” I didn’t get through the entire CD though because I’m not that huge on Nirvana. I ended up listening to my Platinum Blonde CD next. I smiled when it started. The first song starts with a very sexy female voice saying “Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin.” I replied “I'm sitting damn comfortably!” out loud as if she was sitting next to me.

The drive to San Francisco with the GPS was heaven. I was really able to enjoy the car and not worry about which off-ramps and exits to take. Just before the bridge into San Francisco there was a toll. Of course I ended up in the wrong “express chip” lane and tried to get into the slow-moving money lanes. I succeeded in squeezing in in front of this rig, but he was none too happy. He REALLY didn’t want me to get in, but I managed to do it. I then let a guy in in front of me which he really didn’t seem to like and honked his horn. When I got to the toll I gave the lady a $50 bill and she gave me this look and sized up the bill by holding it up to the light. “It better be real darling.” I told her to apologize to the rig behind me saying I was from out of town. She probably though I meant the hold up with the money because she replied “It’s alright sugar, don’t worry ‘bout it.” I then explained I was in the wrong lane and had to squeeze in. She gave me a pshaw. Relaxed and carefree lady. I liked her style. She kinda reminded me I shouldn’t worry about these things.

By the time I got to the bridge and the first few turns, I was in the financial district and lost my satellite. I called Cathy, my friend in San Francisco and she guided me the rest of the way. Only had to make 2 turns and I was there. When I pulled up beside her and Mark who were just arriving at her place to meet me, I got a lot of “Wow”s from both of them. Mark couldn’t stop laughing and chuckling as he realized this is what we’d be driving home in. We got my bags up four flights to Cathy’s place then we went back down to park the car. We tried two places which insist keys are left with them. The third place the guy said they were just about to close. I pleaded that it was OK. Cathy kept leaning over and saying it’s for overnight but he didn’t hear and kept telling us where else we could park. Then he finally heard it was overnight and he let us park. I barely squeezed between a BMW and an old Safari. But I was happy he had already closed the fence and was locking up. Peace of mind for $20 USD. Bargain. I’ll definitely be paying more for parking from now on.

We went for dinner after Cathy showed us this Celebrity skating show. The guy from Different strokes was pretty good for a guy who didn’t start skating until 3 weeks before. We them went to Tomasso’s for pizza. We ordered 2 small pizzas for variety. One with Italian pepperoni and mushrooms and the other with garlic and fresh basil. I was not disappointed with the food. It was awesome! We shared a bottle of wine after which Cathy took us to this bar called Buddha. She said the bartender was “Crazy Mark” but when we got there she wasn’t sure if the guy managing the whole bar (not big, but not tiny either) was him or not. They play this dice rolling game there. Mark asked the cute girl sitting beside him at the bar how to play. He ended up winning 3 bucks from her and her guy friend. Then he lost 1 buck. Cathy, Mark and I played each other. I won the first one and Mark won the second. I’m glad we ordered seconds on Coronas. We then saw evidence that the bartender was in fact “Crazy Mark”. He was playing the dice game (he bets with drinks) with a few patrons and kept glancing back at the waiting customers down the bar giving them knowing glances that he’d be done in a sec. At one point he took a lighter, lit it, stuck out his tongue and held the flame to it. When he got to the point where it burned, he yanked it away, squinted hard and shook his head very quickly. He has this look come across his face sometimes where he doesn’t seem to know where he is. He’ll make eye contact with you and it’s as if he’s confused and doesn’t know what’s going on or where he is. At one point a girl leaned over the bar on the other side of Cathy and he reluctantly licked her mouth. It was hilarious. He kept licking her lips and mouth, kind of like a dog might, then pulling back, then going back in to lick. It was a very unusual looking make-out session. It seemed like the girl didn’t really know him. His eyes were always open and he had no real expression except the what’s-going-on look I described.

That about sums up my first day of the road trip. It this is any indication of what’s to come, this is going to be some kind of time of my life.